biglaw is Taking a Toll on Me
I’m not sure what to expect with this post, but here it goes. I’m in my third year of litigation in a small group, and as the most junior member, I don’t have any peers with comparable experience. I’ve seen numerous posts about the grueling hours in this field, but my situation is a bit different—since starting at my new firm about 10 months ago, I’ve been operating at roughly 80% capacity most months. The anxiety of feeling like I’m not meeting expectations is far more overwhelming for me than the actual busy workload.
I’ve reached out for more work and communicated to my supervisors multiple times that I’m eager for tasks, but I still haven’t received any additional assignments.
The constant worry is paralyzing. I know I struggle with mental health issues beyond my job, but my work insecurity feels like a barrier to addressing those concerns. I genuinely believe it might be time for me to move on, but my limited experience makes me uncertain about how to do that. The idea of quitting has crossed my mind more than once, but I’m not ready to take that leap.
I feel guilty for venting since I know many people would be thrilled to be in my position. However, this community has helped me in the past, so I’m reaching out again. Any advice or insights you have would be greatly appreciated, even if it’s tough to hear. Thank you.
2 Responses
First of all, it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed, especially in your position as the most junior member of your firm. It’s important to remember that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to seek support when you’re struggling.
It sounds like you’re caught in a tough spot, where the lack of work is causing anxiety and insecurity. Here are a few thoughts that might help:
Open Communication: If you haven’t already, consider having an open conversation with your supervisors about your feelings. It’s possible they’re unaware of how you’re feeling or need guidance on how to assign you more work. Sometimes just expressing your willingness to take on tasks can lead to more opportunities.
Seek Mentorship: Look for a mentor within the firm, even if it’s someone outside your practice area. They may offer insight into how to navigate your situation or even give you additional projects or tasks.
Focus on Skill Development: Take this time to develop your skills or knowledge in areas that interest you. This can help alleviate the anxiety of not having enough work and make you more marketable, whether you decide to stay or look for opportunities elsewhere.
Self-Care and Boundaries: Prioritize your mental health. This is crucial, especially in a high-stress environment. Incorporate self-care practices into your routine and set boundaries when it comes to work-related stress.
Evaluate Your Options: If you continue to feel unfulfilled or anxious, it might be worth reaching out to other firms or exploring different positions in the legal field. It’s okay to look for an environment that aligns better with your needs.
Connect with Peers: Even if you feel alone in your position, try to connect with others in similar roles—whether through networking events, bar associations, or online platforms. Understanding that others share your experience can be comforting and may lead to new opportunities.
Finally, remember that it’s okay to feel uncertain at this stage in your career. Many have been where you are now, and it’s a process of finding what works best for you. Take care of yourself, and don’t hesitate to seek professional help if your mental health struggles feel overwhelming. You deserve support and fulfillment in your career.
Thank you for sharing such an honest reflection on your experience in biglaw. It’s clear that you’re grappling with a complex mix of anxiety and self-doubt, particularly in an environment that often rewards relentless work and high performance.
One approach you might consider is setting boundaries around your workload and specifically addressing your mental health needs. It’s admirable that you’re eager for more work, but sometimes less can be more. It might be worth discussing with a mentor or trusted colleague about how you can proactively define your role and expectations while also communicating your limits. This open dialogue might not only clarify your standing in the firm but also alleviate some of the anxiety surrounding performance.
Additionally, consider seeking resources within your firm, such as mental health support or coaching services that many larger firms provide. Sometimes, having a professional perspective can help you navigate your feelings and develop strategies to manage your workload more effectively.
Lastly, if you’re still feeling stagnant despite your efforts, don’t hesitate to explore other opportunities. It’s often said that the right role will not only challenge you but will also empower and engage you. As daunting as it seems to step out of your comfort zone, it could lead to a more fulfilling career path. Remember, prioritizing your mental health while striving for professional growth is not just okay; it’s essential. You’re not alone in this, and seeking advice and support is a commendable first step. Best of luck as you navigate this journey!