Navigating Dating in Big Law
As a 31-year-old female midlevel associate in Big Law, I know firsthand that many attorneys find love daily. Yet, as someone who dreams of marriage and starting a family, it often feels like an uphill battle. My life is consumed by work, and when I’m finally off the clock, I want to spend time with family and friends, stay active, and even adopt a dog.
The dating apps have been a mixed bag. I’ve encountered many men who seem more excited about my income than about building a genuine connection. I sometimes worry that they’re seeking a partner to support their desire to stay home (trust me, if anyone were to stay home, it would be me!). On top of that, being a Christian/Catholic in a place where nonmonogamous relationships and casual hookups are the norm only adds to the challenge.
While I genuinely love my career, I can’t help but feel that it doesn’t hold the same significance as building a family does.
I’m sharing this more as a vent than anything else. I can’t quite figure out if my city is particularly difficult for dating or if I just need to reevaluate my approach. Any thoughts?
One Response
It sounds like you’re navigating a really challenging situation, and it’s totally understandable to feel frustrated. Balancing a demanding career in Big Law with the desire for a meaningful relationship and family can be tough, especially when it feels like the dating landscape isn’t aligned with your values or goals.
It’s great that you’re aware of what you want in a partner—finding someone who shares your vision for family life is important. Have you considered looking for opportunities to meet people outside of traditional dating apps? Sometimes, getting involved in community events, faith-based gatherings, or interest groups that align with your values can lead to more organic connections.
Also, don’t hesitate to reach out to friends or family for introductions. They may know someone who could be a great match! Remember, you’re not alone in feeling this way, and many others in your position are also looking for a partner who shares their priorities.
Keep doing what you love and being true to yourself—your right person will appreciate that. Good luck, and don’t lose hope!