Navigating the Complexities of Child Support: A Personal Struggle

Child support can be a complicated issue, and for some, it can even lead to distressing situations that raise numerous ethical and legal questions. Today, I share a personal account that highlights the challenges one individual faced after unknowingly continuing to pay child support for a child who had passed away four years prior.

This story begins in university, where a brief encounter resulted in a child who, unbeknownst to the payer, would lead to an enduring financial obligation. Despite a complete lack of contact with the child and, frankly, a desire not to be involved, the payer consistently met the financial demands set forth by the Child Maintenance Service (CMS). Year after year, he complied fully with his payments, unaware of the tragic reality surrounding his situation.

Imagine the shock of receiving a letter from the CMS months ago, detailing that the “Qualifying Child” had died—that the financial responsibility would cease effective from November 2018. The unfortunate truth was that the child had been gone for over four years, yet payments continued to flow, amounting to an astonishing £32,306.08 during that time.

Upon learning this distressing information, the individual promptly lodged a complaint with the CMS, only to be told that refunds were only issued in cases where payments were deducted directly from wages (the Calc and Collect approach). Unfortunately, since he was enrolled in Maintenance Direct—paying the mother directly—his situation did not qualify for any reimbursement.

Faced with these circumstances, he felt compelled to consider legal action but soon encountered another hurdle. The mother resides in a council apartment, possesses few assets, and is reliant on benefits. A friend with experience in family law informed him that due to her financial status, recovering those funds might be challenging, if not impossible.

Further complicating matters, he reported the situation to the police, who opted not to pursue an investigation into the mother. This left him questioning his next steps. Should he proceed to small claims court, or would that be an exercise in futility?

In a notable update, he expressed a desire to address additional misunderstandings about his character. He revealed that he has a psychiatric condition that can lead to episodes of intense rage, and he has been in treatment for over a decade. His conscious decision to remain separate from parenting stems from a deep self-awareness of the potential risks he poses to others, should he find himself in a situation where his emotions get the better