Navigating Health and Work-Life Balance: A Husband’s Concern in the World of Big Law
In the journey of our newfound marriage, I’ve been slowly diving into the daily realities that define my wife’s career as a fourth-year associate at a prominent Big Law firm. During our dating days, she often shared anecdotes about the relentless pace and lack of time for meals or exercise. Now, living together, I’ve come face-to-face with this challenging professional environment.
Her daily routine consists of grueling 12-16 hour workdays, barely leaving room for basic necessities like showering. A diligent worker at heart, my wife’s pursuit of excellence is admirable. She strives to ensure every detail is perfect, a trait undoubtedly valuable for her future endeavors, should she aspire to become a partner. Yet, this dedication also means bearing the burden of revising work for less meticulous colleagues, managing unresponsive junior associates, and catering to deadline-focused partners.
However, my confusion surfaces when she candidly expresses that she doesn’t envision a long-term future in Big Law. Her plan is to retire from this high-pressure world within a few years, around her sixth or seventh year. Given this outlook, I find myself questioning why she bears such an immense workload and sacrifices her health in a setting where others don’t share her work ethic.
As a manager with a knack for numbers, I took a step back to evaluate a week’s sample of her routine. The results were unsettling. During this period, I noticed my wife consistently worked through the night, aligning her schedule with my bedtime at midnight and my wake-up at 6 am. Of the possible 21 meals that week, she managed to consume only 12, often not even completing them—meals reduced to half-eaten bagels or untouched bowls of lunch.
Her reasoning is that busy spells, like recent project closings, exacerbate her schedule. Despite these exceptions, her weeks seem to follow a relentless pattern of work, skipped meals, working from home until late, waking at dawn, and doing it all over again. Physical activities like visiting the gym, walking the dog, or even contributing to household chores are all overshadowed by her career demands. A recent move occurred entirely without her, assisted only by my family and me, as she couldn’t spare the time to step away from work.
This relentless cycle has taken a physical toll, resulting in a weight loss of over 20 pounds since her Big Law journey began, placing her under 100 pounds. Despite my
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