Seeking Support: Does It Get Better?
I apologize for venting here, but I’m really at a loss and unsure where to turn. Right now, I’m struggling deeply.
As a first-year law student who started last fall, I’m facing intense feelings of depression and anxiety. I’m part of a busy finance group, which often feels overwhelming, especially since I don’t particularly enjoy the work, especially the finance aspects. Unfortunately, switching groups isn’t an option at my firm.
I’m having difficulty sleeping and often dread waking up, worrying about the emails I might have missed at 1 AM (even when there aren’t any pressing deadlines). It seems like I can’t enjoy the little free time I have because I’m constantly anticipating the next email.
My therapist hasn’t been helpful, so I’m in the process of finding a new one and also plan to work with a psychiatrist. I’m feeling like a failure; after all, many people leave this path after a few years, but I can’t even imagine making it through my first year. This has led me to question myself even more. I had a corporate job before law school, which I thought would ease my transition, but that hasn’t helped much. I dislike the person I’m becoming, and it’s affecting my health and relationships.
While I know I can’t leave yet, I feel hopeless and frightened. I understand the demands that come with this profession and that we are compensated for our availability, but I’m starting to wonder if the trade-off is worth it for me. On a positive note, I do receive good feedback at work, and I’ve even considered pursuing a compliance role or transitioning to a smaller firm after my first year.
If anyone has encouragement or advice on how to endure long enough to figure out if this is truly the right path for me or at least explore another group, I’d greatly appreciate it. How do you cope with these overwhelming feelings? It currently feels like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, and I’m struggling to find balance. Thank you.
One Response
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and anxious, especially in such a demanding environment. First off, I want to acknowledge your courage in reaching out and sharing your feelings—it’s not easy to do.
It’s important to remember that many people experience significant challenges during their first year in a high-pressure job, particularly in finance and law. While it might feel like everyone else is coping just fine, you’re certainly not alone in feeling this way. It does genuinely get better for many people, but it often takes time and patience, along with proactive steps to improve your situation.
Here are a few suggestions that might help you cope in the short term:
Set Boundaries: While your firm may have high expectations, try to set boundaries around your availability. Create a specific time when you’ll stop checking emails each night. This can help break the cycle of anxiety and allow you to recharge.
Practice Self-Care: Make self-care a priority. Even small things like taking walks, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in a hobby can help alleviate stress.
Seek Support: Besides your therapist, consider joining support groups for first-year associates or young professionals in law. Sometimes talking to peers who are undergoing similar experiences can help you feel less alone.
Focus on What You Can Control: Identify specific tasks or areas you can control or improve, rather than getting overwhelmed by everything at once.
Consider Your Options: It’s great that you’re already thinking about potential switches to compliance or a smaller firm. Keep researching your options and think about what would make you feel more fulfilled professionally.
Communicate Seek Feedback: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it might be worth having a candid conversation with someone in your firm about your workload. They may be more understanding than you expect.
It’s commendable that you’re already planning to explore other opportunities after your first year. Give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling, and remember that it’s okay to prioritize your mental health and well-being. You’re not a failure—you’re just navigating a challenging path that many have walked before you.
Hang in there; brighter days are ahead!